Tom Baxter: I don’t get hurt or bleed, hair doesn’t muss; it’s one of the advantages of being imaginary.

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Tom Baxter: Cecilia, it’s clear how miserable you are with your husband. And if he hits you again, you tell me. I’d be forced to knock his teeth out.
Cecilia: I don’t think that’d be such a good idea. He’s big.
Tom Baxter: I’m sorry. It’s written into my character to do it, so I do it.

Tom Baxter: I was thinking about some very deep things. About God and his relation with Irving Saks and R.H. Levine. And I was thinking about life in general. The origin of everything we see about us. The finality of death; how almost magical it seems in the real world, as opposed to the world of celluloid and flickering shadows.
Hooker: (To another hooker) Where did you find this clown?

Tom Baxter: I love you. I’m honest, dependable, courageous, romantic, and a great kisser.
Gil Shepherd: And I’m real.

Movie Patron: You can’t talk to my wife that way – who do you think you are?
The Countess: I’m a genuine countess with a lot of dough, and if that’s your wife she’s a tub of guts.

Gil’s Agent: Tom Baxter’s come down off the screen and he’s running around New Jersey! …Nobody knows how it happened, but he’s done it.
Gil Shepherd: How can he do that? It’s not physically possible!
Gil’s Agent: In New Jersey anything can happen.