Gus: You know what this family needs? A mute.

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Lloyd: Caroline? Why don’t you eat something?
Caroline: Lloyd? Why don’t you eat me?

Lloyd Chasseur: Telling people that she dreams about me being castrated florentine is healthy?

[Lt. Huff smells a mask]
Lt. Huff: It’s urine.
Lt. Steve Milford: Oh thank God. Phil thought it might be semen.
Lt. Huff: Phil needs to talk to a therapist.

Lloyd Chasseur: You know what mom? You know what I’m gonna get you next Christmas? A big wooden cross, so every time you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices, you can climb up and nail yourself to it.

Lloyd: Coffee, mom?
Rose: Is it real coffee, or some Scandinavian Christmas potion?