Gus: You know what this family needs? A mute.
captivating quotations from movies, television, literature and people - curated by actual geeks.
Connie: We can’t open presents until midnight.
Gus: Why not?
Connie: Because it’s not Christmas until midnight.
Gus: Well, guess what? We’re changing the rules a little bit, okay? We’re going to open the presents now, not later, now. Why? Because we’re adults and we can open the presents whenever we want!
Connie: I have never heard of such a Christmas: sex, and drugs, and, and, and, and women being set on fire.
Caroline: How can we both be in the marriage and I’m miserable and you’re content?
John Chasseur: Mom, the TV’s broken. What are we gonna do all night?
Connie Chasseur: Celebrate the birth of Christ!
Lloyd: Caroline, the day you see anything through to the end, I’ll stick my own dick in my ear.