Connie: I have never heard of such a Christmas: sex, and drugs, and, and, and, and women being set on fire.

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Lloyd Chasseur: Telling people that she dreams about me being castrated florentine is healthy?

[Lt. Huff smells a mask]
Lt. Huff: It’s urine.
Lt. Steve Milford: Oh thank God. Phil thought it might be semen.
Lt. Huff: Phil needs to talk to a therapist.

Lloyd Chasseur: You know what mom? You know what I’m gonna get you next Christmas? A big wooden cross, so every time you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices, you can climb up and nail yourself to it.

Lloyd: Coffee, mom?
Rose: Is it real coffee, or some Scandinavian Christmas potion?

Gus: Let me say it one more time: I have a gun, it’s loaded, shut up, okay?