Tommy Boy


What the hell’s gotten into you, I got my thingy stuck in my zipper and I got piss all over my pants!

Tommy: Fat guy in a little coat…

Tommy: I’ll tell you what, you can get a good look at a t-bone by sticking your head up a bull’s ass, but I’d rather take the butcher’s word for it.

Richard: Hey! Prehistoric Forest!

Tommy: Luke, Luke. I am your Faaaaaa-ther.

blowing into a desk fan

Paul: Did you eat a lot of paint chips when you were a kid?
Tommy: Why?

Richard Hayden: Housekeeping. You want mint for pillow?
Tommy: Please go away let me sleep for the love of God.
Richard Hayden: Housekeeping. You want me to jerk you off?
Tommy: What kind of hotel is this?

Tommy: Did you hear I finally graduated?
Richard Hayden: Yeah, and just a shade under a decade too, all right.
Tommy: You know a lot of people go to college for seven years.
Richard Hayden: I know, they’re called doctors.

Richard Hayden: I need your John Hancock.
Tommy: It’s Herbie Hancock.

Tommy: Richard, what were you doing?
Richard: Looking over some documents.
Tommy: Well, where are they? I don’t see them.
Richard: They’re in my briefcase.
Tommy: How could you be looking over your documents, if they’re in your briefcase? Hmmmmm, it’s a mystery. Were you watching Spanktravision? Or were you watching that funny comedian, oh what’s his name, Buddy Wackit. Hey, there’s a pretty girl out there, maybe she go’s out with one of the yankees…Richard, who was your favorite Little Rascal? Was it Alfalfa, or was it Spanky, hehehehehehe, sinner.