Mr. Potato Head: How come you don’t have a laser, Woody?
Woody: It’s not a laser. It’s a little light bulb that blinks.
Hamm: What’s wrong with him?
Mr. Potato Head: Laser envy.
Buzz: I’ve set my laser from stun to kill.
Woody: Oh, great. If anyone attacks we can blink em’ to death.
Buzz: To infinity, and beyond!
Mr. Potato Head: What, did you take Stupid Pills this morning?
Woody: Look, we’re all very impressed with Andy’s new toy.
Woody: T-O-Y, toy.
Buzz: Excuse me, I think the word you’re searching for is “space ranger”.
Woody: The word I’m searching for, I can’t say, because there’s preschool toys present.
Buzz: I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet.
Woody: Oh. Well, that’s good.
Buzz: But we’re not on my planet, are we?
Woody: What chance does a toy like me have against a Buzz Lightyear action figure?
Mr. Potato Head: Oh, really? Well, I’m from Playskool.
Rex: And I’m from Mattel. Well, actually I’m from a smaller company that was purchased by Mattel in a leveraged buyout.
Woody: That wasn’t flying! That was falling with style!
Mr. Potato Head: Son of a building block! It’s Woody!
Buzz: How are you fixed for fuel? Are you still using fossil fuels, or have you discovered crystallic fusion?
Woody: Well, we have double-A’s.
Buzz: I’m Buzz Lightyear. I come in peace.
Rex: Oh, I’m so glad you’re not a dinosaur!
Rex: Great! Now I have guilt!
Buzz: Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet! I alone have information that reveals this weapon’s only weakness. And you, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command!
Woody: You are a toy! You aren’t the real Buzz Lightyear! You’re – you’re just an action figure! You are a child’s play-thing!
Buzz: You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. Farewell.
Woody: Oh, yeah? Well, good riddance, ya loony.
Mr. Potato Head: Ages three and up! It’s on my box! Ages three and up! I’m not supposed to be babysitting Princess Drool!
Sid Phillips: “Extremely dangerous. Keep out of reach of children.” Cool!
Buzz: Do you know these life forms?
Woody: Yes, they’re Andy’s toys.
Rex: What if Andy gets another dinosaur? A mean one? I don’t think I can take that kind of rejection.
Buzz: This is no time to panic.
Woody: This is a perfect time to panic!