LaBouef: A little earlier I gave some thought to stealing a kiss from you, although you are very young. And you’re unattractive to boot. Now I’m of a mind to give you five or six good licks with my belt.
Maddie: Well one would be as unpleasant as the other.
Stonehill: You’re a damned nuisance! Lawyer Daggett! Lawyer Daggett! Who is this famous pleader whose name I was happily ignorant of ten minutes ago?
Maddie: Have you ever heard of the Great Arkansas River, Vicksburg and Gulf Steamship Company?
Stonehill: I have done business with the GAV&G.
Maddie: Well, he was the one that forced them into receivership. They tried to mess with him.
Rooster: Lawyer Daggett again!
LaBouef: She draws him like a gun.
Maddie: You are too old and fat to be jumping fences.
Rooster: Well, come see a fat old man some time!
Rooster: By God, girl, that’s a Colt Dragoon. Now you’re no bigger than a corn nubbin. What are you doing with all that pistol?
Rooster Cogburn: I’ve got a writ for you, rat. It’s a rat writ writ for a rat.
Tom Chaney: Everything happens to me! Now I’m shot by a child!
Ned Pepper: I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man.
Rooster: Give me your cup.
Maddie: I don’t drink coffee, thank you.
Rooster: Well, now, what do you drink?
Maddie: I’m partial to cold buttermilk.
Rooster: Well, we ain’t got none of that. We ain’t got no lemonade either!
Maddie: I hope you don’t think I’m going to keep you in whiskey?
Rooster: I don’t buy that, I confiscate it. And a touch of it wouldn’t do you any harm against the night air!
Maddie: I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains!
Rooster: Well, it’s the real article! Genuine, double-rectified bust head! Aged in the keg!
Rooster: Why, she reminds me of me!
Maddie: You’re trying to take advantage of me.
Rooster: I’m giving you my children’s rates.