Rooster: By God, girl, that’s a Colt Dragoon. Now you’re no bigger than a corn nubbin. What are you doing with all that pistol?

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Maddie: You are too old and fat to be jumping fences.
Rooster: Well, come see a fat old man some time!

Rooster Cogburn: I’ve got a writ for you, rat. It’s a rat writ writ for a rat.

Tom Chaney: Everything happens to me! Now I’m shot by a child!

Ned Pepper: I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man.

Rooster: Give me your cup.
Maddie: I don’t drink coffee, thank you.
Rooster: Well, now, what do you drink?
Maddie: I’m partial to cold buttermilk.
Rooster: Well, we ain’t got none of that. We ain’t got no lemonade either!