Peter: You remind me of someone.. it must be you!
Joe Jr.: O.K., Lucy, it’s either me or him!
Joe Jr.: You don’t have to answer right away.
Elsie: I don’t drink anymore… I don’t drink any less, either!
Elsie: I like Mass better in Latin. It’s nicer when you don’t know what they’re saying.
Jerry: You’re born into a family. You do not join them like you do the Marines.
Lucy: Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah, I betcha don’t, you’re probably too sensible for that. Or have you ever, like, seen somebody? And you knew that, if only that person really knew you, they would, well, they would of course dump the perfect model that they were with, and realize that you were the one that they wanted to, just, grow old with. Have you ever fallen in love with someone you haven’t even talked to? Have you ever been so alone you spend the night confusing a man in a coma?
Lucy: If you fit into my pants I think I’ll kill myself.
Jack: Would your father be happy knowing you’re sitting in a token booth planning vacations you’re never going to take?
Lucy: No, he wouldn’t. But you have no idea what it’s like to be alone.
Jack: You have Peter.
Lucy: I don’t have anybody.
Lucy: You’ve been really great this week.
Jack: Like when I accused you of lying, or when I accused you of dating Joe Junior, or when I thought you were pregnant and announced it to all your friends?
Lucy: You’ve had a really busy week.
Peter: It took a coma to wake me up.