Marwood: My thumbs have gone weird!
Danny: I don’t advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
Withnail: Free to those that can afford it, very expensive to those that can’t.
Withnail: We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here, and we want them now!
Monty: Come on lads, let’s get home, the sky’s beginning to bruise, night must fall and we shall be forced to camp.
Withnail: Right, here’s the plan. First, we go in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop some Surmontil-50’s each. That way we’ll miss out on Monday and come up smiling Tuesday morning.
Withnail: I demand to have some booze.