Quotations About
alcohol

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.

This quote is attributed / unsourced.

Daryl: Keep drinking, little man. I wanna see how red your face can get.

TS-19 (season 1, episode 6)
Posted in: The Walking Dead

Det. Mike Kellerman: There’s no absolutes in life; only in vodka.

Patsy: The last mosquito that bit me had to book in to the Betty Ford clinic.

France (season 1, episode 3)

Lister: We’re on a mining ship, 3 million years into deep space. Can someone explain to me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?
Cat: Hey, it’s not a good night unless you get a traffic cone! It’s the policewoman’s helmet and the suspenders that I don’t understand!

Posted in: Red Dwarf

Rhett Butler: I’m very drunk and I intend on getting still drunker before this evening’s over.

Ron Burgundy: I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.

Clarence: I’ll have a flaming rum punch!

Dan Rydell: Come with us.
Casey McCall: Where?
Dan Rydell: El Perro Fumando.
Casey McCall: “The Smoking Dog”?
Dan Rydell: Yes.
Casey McCall: Why?
Dan Rydell: If you wear something blue, you get two dollars off a giant blue margarita.
Casey McCall: You know, I make a pretty good living. I can actually afford to wear what I want and pay full price.
Dan Rydell: I’m not promoting the economic upside as much as I am the opportunity to drink something giant and blue.

Posted in: Sports Night

Will: Yeah, I get that there are moments, small moments, infrequent moments, where I’m not the easiest guy to work with, but who the hell is?
Charlie: I am.
Will: Well, it helps that you’re drunk most of the time.
Charlie: It certainly does.

Posted in: The Newsroom

Bob: I don’t get that close to the glass until I’m on the floor.

Gwen: Boy, I didn’t know you could get that loaded.

Posted in: Galaxy Quest

Drunkeness is nothing else but a voluntary madness.

Marge: I’ll just have a coffee.
Australian Bartender: Beer it is.
Marge: No, Cof-fee.
Bartender: Be-er?
Marge: Coffee. C-O-…
Bartender: B-E…

Posted in: The Simpsons

Edina: Gin and tonic, sweetie?
Patsy: Ooh, gin and tonic!

There is no argument anywhere that alcohol makes us healthier. Plus, you have a drink, then your drink has a drink, and soon, you’re face first in a pile of french fries with cheese sauce.

Well Fed: Paleo Recipes for People Who Love to Eat (2011)
Posted in: Melissa Joulwan

Well, between Scotch and nothin’, I suppose I’d take Scotch. It’s the nearest thing to good moonshine I can find.

As quoted in National Observer (3 February 1964)
Posted in: William Faulkner

When I was younger I made it a rule never to take strong drink before lunch. It is now my rule never to do so before breakfast.

Reply to King George VI, on a cold morning at the airport. As cited in Man of the Century (2002)

Cecile: This iced tea tastes funny.
Sebastian: It’s from Long Island.

Posted in: Cruel Intentions

Chandler: Well, my apartment’s not there anymore because I drank it.

Posted in: Friends

Isaac Davis: I feel like we’re in a Noel Coward play. Someone should be making martinis.

Posted in: Manhattan

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Attributed; unsourced.
This quote is attributed / unsourced.
Posted in: Ernest Hemingway

Kryten: My goodness, I do believe I’m drunk. I suddenly feel the need to strut my funky stuff!

The Last Day (1989)
Posted in: Red Dwarf

Most of the confidence which I appear to feel, especially when influenced by noon wine, is only a pretense.

"I am widely regarded as the ghost of a writer," 1977 essay,