Quotations About
driving

I once got pulled over and the cop said, “Why were you going so fast?” I said, “Why? Because I had my foot to the floor. Sends more gas through the carburetor. Makes the engine go faster. The whole car just takes off like that.” I said, “See this? This steers it.”

Posted in: Steven Wright

Cher: This is a second notice for outstanding parking tickets. I don’t remember getting a first notice.
Mel: The ticket is the first notice!

Posted in: Clueless

Some guy hit my car fender the other day, and I said unto him, “Be fruitful and multiply.” But not in those words.

The Woody Allen Companion (1993)
Posted in: Woody Allen

My primary motivation behind buying a car, despite the scarcity of my funds, was that I refused to be driven around town in a car with red and blue lights on top. Nothing slows down traffic like a cop.

Posted in: Twilight

Eric: Look, Dad, I need my car. Don’t you remember when you were in high school? I bet you had some good times, driving around senior year with your friends.
Red: My senior year, I was driving a gun boat around Okinawa. And, if you count the Japanese snipers as my friends, then yes, I had some good times.

Posted in: That 70's Show

Mr. Mosby: Now, put the stick shift into drive.
London: You mean the PRNDL?

Elwood Blues: It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses.
Jake Blues: Hit it!

Driving a Porsche in London is like bringing a Ming vase to a football game.

As quoted in Don't Panic: The Official Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Companion (1988)
Posted in: Douglas Adams

Dexter Morgan: The problem with eating and driving, which I love to do, is not being able to have my hands on the wheel at the 10 and 2 position. It’s a matter of public safety.

Dexter (season 1, episode 1)
Posted in: Dexter

When the light turns green, you go. When the light turns red, you stop. But what do you do when the light turns blue with orange and lavender spots?

A Light in the Attic
Posted in: Shel Silverstein