In married life affection comes when people thoroughly dislike each other.
Kovatch: Oh, I love my family, but I’d give my six kids to get rid of my wife.
There is more of good nature than of good sense at the bottom of most marriages.
Wash: I wish I was somebody else right now, somebody not… married, not madly in love with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinky.
Margaret: We both might face the facts that neither of us has proved to be a very great success as a wife.
Tracy: We just picked the wrong first husband.
Real Estate Agent: I am telling you, room in the bathroom is what has saved more marriages than Oprah and Dr. Phil combined.
Well, no, not married as such, but yes, there is a specific girl that I’m not married to.
Harken: You fought with Captain Reynolds in the war?
Zoe: Fought with a lot of people in the war.
Harken: And your husband?
Zoe: Fight with him sometimes, too.
Single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor, which is one very strong argument in favour of matrimony.
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.
Mindy Lahiri: Maybe I won’t get married, you know? Maybe I’ll do one of those “Eat, Pray, Love” things. Ugh, no, I don’t want to pray. Forget it, I’ll just die alone.
Princess Merida: I am Merida, and I’ll be shooting for my own hand.
Queen Elinor: Pretend I’m Merida, speak to me.
King Fergus: I don’t want to get married, I want to stay single and let my hair flow in the wind as I ride through the glen firing arrows into the sunset.
Lady Mary: Sybil is entitled to her opinions.
Dowager Countess: No. She isn’t until she is married, then her husband will tell her what her opinions are.
Dowager Countess: The question is, will she accept Matthew?
Cora: I’m not sure.
Dowager Countess: Well, if she doesn’t, we’ll just have to take her abroad. In these moments, you can normally find an Italian who isn’t too picky.
Lady Mary: I hope you know that really smart people sleep in separate rooms.
Robert: I always keep the dressing room bed made up so I at least pretend we sleep in separate rooms. Isn’t that enough?
Lady Mary: No. Never mind.
Dowager Countess: One way or another, everyone goes down the aisle with half the story hidden.
Dowager Countess: Your turn will come.
Lady Edith: Will it? Or am I to be the maiden aunt? Isn’t this what they do? Arrange presents for their prettier relations?
Dowager Countess: Don’t be defeatist dear, it’s terribly middle class.
There’s somewhat flows to us in life,
But more is taken quite away.
Pray, Alice, pray, my darling wife,
That we may die the self-same day.
Anna: Mr. Bates, is this a proposal?
Bates: If that’s what you want to call it. And you might start calling me John.
Marquise De Merteuil: Adopt a less marital tone.
Jack: I want to marry you Joy, I want to marry you before God and the world.
Joy: Make an honest woman out of me?
Jack: No not you. It’s me that hasn’t been honest. Look what it takes me to see sense.
Joy: You think I have overdone it?
Jack: Please don’t leave me, Joy.
Joy: You know Jack, back where I come from there’s this quaint old custom. When a guy makes up his mind to marry a girl, he asks her. It’s called proposing.
Jack: It’s the same here.
Joy: Did I miss it?
Jack: Will you marry this foolish, frightened old man… who needs you more than he can bear to say… who loves you, even though he hardly knows how?
Joy: Just this once.
Human nature is so well disposed towards those who are in interesting situations, that a young person, who either marries or dies, is sure of being kindly spoken of.
When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.
Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
Holly Golightly: I’ll tell you one thing, Fred, darling… I’d marry you for your money in a minute. Would you marry me for my money?
Paul Varjak: In a minute.
Holly Golightly: I guess it’s pretty lucky neither of us is rich, huh?
Paul Varjak: Yeah.
When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.
Marriage, like money, is still with us; and, like money, progressively devalued.
I have now come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason; I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.
For hearts when they ’re young should make the vow,
For when they are old they don’t know how
We’re here! We’re queer! We want to get married on the ocean!
Phyllis Lindstrom: I just thought I’d see what you swingin’ singles do for fun.
Rhoda Morgenstern: Same as you – sit around and wonder what it would be like to have a happy marriage.
Rose: Have I been a good wife?
Cosmo Castorini: Yeah.
Rose: I want you to stop seeing her.
Cosmo Castorini: Okay.
Rose: And go to confession.
Don Draper: We should get married.
Midge: You think I’d make a good ex-wife?