Sonja: Sex without love is an empty experience.
Boris: Yes, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.
Sam: Oh my God! Oh my God he’s killing her!
Maggie: Yeah, he’s killin’ her all right, and she’s loving every minute of it!
Mac: Can I warn you about something? You’re a rich and famous person, and for that reason only, she may want to sleep with you.
Will: That didn’t sound like something that should come with a warning, that sounded like something that should come with balloons.
Mac: I loathe you right now.
Josh: Halloween isn’t about thrills, chills, and funny costumes; it’s about getting laid.
Edward: Is there any holiday that’s not about getting laid?
Josh: Arbor Day.
Michael Kelso: If this van’s a-rockin’… we’re in there doing it.
Dwight: Actually, I do own property. My grandfather left me a 60-acre working beet farm. I run it with my cousin Mose. We sell beets to the local stores and restaurants. It’s a nice little farm… sometimes teenagers use it for sex.
Why in the world shouldn’t they have regarded with awe and reverence that act by which the human race is perpetuated. Not every religion has to have St. Augustine’s attitude to sex. Why even in our culture marriages are celebrated in a church, everyone present knows what is going to happen that night, but that doesn’t prevent it being a religious ceremony.
Cece: Spencer cheated on you because he’s a total jerk, not ’cause you’re bad in bed.
Jess: It’s been six years. Everything I know about sex, I learned from Spencer or the Clinton impeachment trial.