Nurse: Oh there you go again – mistaking me for someone who gives a damn! Who cares if you’re fat or thin…who cares if you live or die?!

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More from Absolutely Fabulous

Edina: God, it’s a rather depressing thought, isn’t it, that you might live on after me. Hmmm…You? Is that how I’m going to be remembered, is it…what, through you?!
Saffie: Well, what do you want – a statue?
Edina: YES!!
Saffie (Screaming): A great big, fat, ugly, armless statue??
Edina (agast): I’ve got arms. (flails arms around) I’ve got arms!!

Edina: Just do whatever you want.
Patsy: Eddie!
Edina: But as your mother, I cannot be held responsible for your well-being.
Saffie: Ow! She burned me with her cigarette!
Patsy: Accident.

Patsy: The last mosquito that bit me had to book in to the Betty Ford clinic.

France (season 1, episode 3)

Edina: No, no..no grave for me, sweetie. I’m a Buddhist anyway. I want to be lain out on a rock in the middle of the Ganges, darling, and then just pecked by birds. I don’t want to end up as some drugged-up zombie in a hospital, alright?
Saffie: I thought that would appeal to you…

Photographer: I have to arrange catering for a movie that is shooting here.
Edina: What movie?
Photographer: ‘Life Of Jesus Christ: II’.
Edina: Oh – who is Jesus these days?
Photographer: Err…Charles Dance.