Nurse: Oh there you go again – mistaking me for someone who gives a damn! Who cares if you’re fat or thin…who cares if you live or die?!

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Edina: No, no..no grave for me, sweetie. I’m a Buddhist anyway. I want to be lain out on a rock in the middle of the Ganges, darling, and then just pecked by birds. I don’t want to end up as some drugged-up zombie in a hospital, alright?
Saffie: I thought that would appeal to you…

Photographer: I have to arrange catering for a movie that is shooting here.
Edina: What movie?
Photographer: ‘Life Of Jesus Christ: II’.
Edina: Oh – who is Jesus these days?
Photographer: Err…Charles Dance.

Patsy: She was so anally retentive she couldn’t sit down for fear of sucking up the furniture.

Patsy: Well, what am I supposed to do if you die?
Edina: Get cabs!

Edina: Why is it that in the hottest countries in the world, they put their children in little woolly jumpers. You’d think Gap would have spotted the hole in the market…I mean, the whole population here is just crying out for good quality, reasonably priced Kid’s Casuals!
Patsy: Oh, shut up Eddie.