Will: Hi, um, I don’t know if I’m talking to the right person, but I need to borrow a million bucks. The Olsen twins went public, and I’m looking to invest.
Sydney: You’ll need some collateral. I don’t think you’ve got any.
Will: Well, have you seen my aqua blue Chevy?
Sydney: You mean, with the hula girl on the dash? Yes, sadly, we’ve seen that.
Marshall: You know that sound you’re hearing, you know, that boom? That’s my mind blowing.
Sydney: I don’t want it to be like that anymore, I’m just sick of it. I mean, I always had this feeling that maybe someday, I don’t know, my dad and I would connect. That things could start to get better.
Francie: Well, you know my opinion of your dad.
Sydney: I know.
Francie: But listen. If you can find it in your heart to forgive him for being the kind of guy he’s been all your life, which I would find impossible and could never do, then you should make a real effort.
Sloane: I didn’t know how it would finally materialize: the darkness. I had nothing to base it on. It wasn’t as if the C.I.A. had just betrayed me, that my wife had just been diagnosed with lymphoma. None of that had happened yet. So, whenever life takes an unfortunate turn, as it has this week, I just remind myself that I could see it coming all along.
Sydney: Are you insane? Calling me in here for a social event? SD-6 has a division whose sole responsibility it is to track their agents and report back suspect activity. “Your girl” is risking her life, and you yours, every time we lay eyes on each other. So, do me a favor: don’t be so friendly.
Lambert: I just love your spirit.
Sydney: That’s heartening. Are we done here?
Sydney: It took me a second to realize what you were doing.
Jack Bristow: I was blinking as fast as I could.
Sydney: I know. I was like, “Hard on your light”?
Jack: Guard on your right.
Sydney: Well, I figured it out. I was just never very good at Morse code.
Lambert: I hate to pull rank, but time is a factor here.
Sydney: Time is a factor here. You know how much time? Seven years. That’s how long I worked for SD-6 before I found out who they really are. And now that I know, my days of blindly following orders are over.
Sydney: There’s something that happens when you discover the truth about someone. I know a little about this. The truth changes everything.
Sydney: Tell Devlin if Agent Vaughn isn’t on the other end of this earpiece when I turn it on, the C.I.A. gets nothing.
Lambert: Vaughn is a junior officer.
Sydney: Then promote him.
McKenas Cole: You give us the codes, I won’t have to open the box…which will be really excellent for you.
Sloane: I can’t be the first person to have difficulty taking you seriously, can I?
Sloane: Marshall couldn’t open the lock box.
Marshall: Uh, in my defense, it was rigged with a brand-new tech, an internal device that will destroy anything inside if opened without the key-
Sloane: Marshall, would you please go back to work?
Marshall: Just to clarify, I’m not being fired?
Sloane: ‘Back to work’ means not fired.
Francie: Hi. And what have we been drinking?
Will: Uh, I don’t know. There was a little horse on the label. A dog. I don’t know. A doghorse. I think. Some kind of mythical creature condemned to live in a bottle for eternity. It’s like a doghorse. A doghorse. Oh, and did I mention my life sucks? Did I mention that?
Sydney: You said you wanted to talk about the plan. I’m giving you the plan.
Vaughn: It’s not your job to give me the plan. I’m giving you the plan. Tomorrow’s your first day back at SD-6. Now, nothing should change. When you get your assignment, you’ll detail your mission on a paper bag. Bag. Then you’ll call this number. Memorize it. After three tones, press the appropriate digit – one through six. Each corresponds to a trash can in a specific location. Now we’ll review your information, create a countermission, and we’ll contact you posing as a wrong number: Joey’s Pizza. Any questions so far?
Sydney: Yeah. Can you show me what a bag looks like again?
Sydney: I’m sorry to call you. I just didn’t know who else to call. My father and I were supposed to have dinner tonight for the first time since I was a kid. I can’t even remember the last time. He just didn’t show. He said he had work. He didn’t have work.
Marshall: I mean, casino security is like an onion. It’s layer after layer after layer and the more that you peel back, the more you want to cry.
Sydney: I just wanted to rip his finger right back off. Does that make me a bad person?
Vaughn: No, but it might have blown your cover.
Francie: He has a law review in an hour.
Sydney: You want to follow him.
Francie: So much, I cannot even tell you.
Sydney: What I was hoping you would say is, “Sydney I gave up on us. I lost faith.” But what you came here for was closure, and there is no way you are getting that from me! I’m not gonna say I understand. I’m not gonna sympathize with you and tell you how hard it must be for you. But, you wanna know how I am? I am horrible! I am ripped apart! And not because I lost you, but because if it had been me I would have waited. I would have found the truth. I wouldn’t have given up on you!
And now I realize what an absolute waste that would have been!
Danny: Sir, I love your daughter and I want to marry her. That’s why I’m calling.
Jack: First of all, Danny, the truth is this is just a courtesy call. Like when you say to your neighbor, “We’re having a loud party on Saturday night if that’s all right with you.” What you really mean is, “We’re having a loud party on Saturday night.”
Danny: Mr. Bristow –
Jack: Sydney doesn’t give a damn what my opinion is. What interests me is that you do.
Danny: It’s just a custom to call the father, that’s all this is.
Jack: Well, then, I’ll tell you what. I may become your father-in-law, that’s just fine. But I will not be used as part of a charming little anecdote you tell your friends at cocktail parties so they can see what a quaint, old-fashioned guy Danny really is. Are we clear?
Danny: Yes, sir.
Jack: Good. Then welcome to the family.
Vaughn: Give them the correct number, Sydney! And that’s an order.
Sydney: An order? We need to have a long talk when I get back to Los Angeles.
Sydney: Who are you to come to me and act like a father? If you want to help me, stay away from me.
Francie: Okay, so I’m in my Operations and Technology Management class, and I realize two things. One, I prepared the wrong chapter.
Francie: I don’t want to talk about it. And two, you and I are going to have a Halloween party.
Dixon: If there’s one rule you don’t break, that’s the rule you don’t break.
Eloise Kurtz: Just leave me alone! I don’t know anything!
Will: See, it’s people who say that that always know much more than they think they do.
Vaughn: They’re reviewing your statement. You wrote a lot.
Sydney: I know.
Vaughn: I mean, it’s like Tolstoy long.