Lucille: Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant, it just makes me want to set myself on fire!
We’re here! We’re queer! We want to get married on the ocean!
Lucille: Look what the homosexuals have done to me.
Michael: You can’t just comb that out and reset it?
Michael: Are you serious?
Wayne Jarvis: Almost always. I was once voted the worst audience participant Cirque Du Soleil ever had.
Gob: Next thing I know, I’m running for my life. And all I could think was if something were to ever happen to me, how sad I’d be, you know?
Lucille Austero: Today at lunch, you were ashamed to be with me.
Gob: No. I was ashamed to be seen with you. I like being with you.
Michael: My mother is opposed to the idea of hiring a new attorney. She’ll probably refuse to enter the room if she sees you.
Wayne Jarvis: I shall hide behind the couch.
Michael: Guy’s a pro.
Michael: Yes, this is Michael Bluth for Barry.
Barry Zuckerkorn: I’m not here.
Barry’s Secretary: Barry’s not in right now. Would you like to leave her a message?
Michael: Yeah, tell her she needs to whisper a little softer next time, and I’m not paying for this phone call.
Michael: I really think the reason you and I always fight is that, since we were little, Dad’s always played us off each other.
Gob: Dad always said that was your fault.
Gob: I’ve made a huge mistake.