Captain Darling: I put a note in my diary today. It simply says…”bugger”.
Captain Blackadder: Yes, the are orders, yes they are to go over the top, but they are addressed to one CAT-PAIN BLACK-UDDER.
Blackadder: My path through life is strewn with cowpats from Satan’s own demonic herd.
Nursie: Another good idea. You’re so clever today, you’d better make sure your foot doesn’t fall off.
Queenie: Is that what happens when you have good ideas? Your foot falls off.
Nursie: Oh yes! My brother had this brilliant idea of cutting his toenails with a scythe, and his foot fell off!
Blackadder: (holding potato) I mean, what is this?
Baldrick: I’m surprised you’ve forgotten my lord.
Blackadder: I haven’t forgotten, it’s a rhetorical question.
Baldrick: No it’s not. It’s a potato.