Bob’s Burgers


Cooper: We couldn’t afford to pay you much, say, ten dollars a day?
Louise: Ten dollars!
Gene: I could start saving for my Porsche Cayenne!

Bob Fires the Kids (season 3, episode 3)

Bob: You guys are just our kids now, not our employees.
Gene: Is that all we are to you, Dad? Your children?
Bob: Yes, and I want you to go have fun.
Louise: Never!

Bob Fires the Kids (season 3, episode 3)

Gene: Summer is awful! There’s so much pressure to enjoy yourself. It’s like New Year’s Eve for kids.

Bob Fires the Kids (season 3, episode 3)

Louise: What is this feeling I’m feeling right now? It’s like I’m sad for another person. Is that a thing? Am I going crazy?

Bob Fires the Kids (season 3, episode 3)

Bob: I mean I can do better, like Spiro Nagnew. Naggity Anne. Secretary of Nagriculture.

Bob: What’s that, Nagatha Christie?

Louise: Sorry, I’m saving my spit and blood for my honeymoon.

Louise: Good job Mr. Frond, we were going to tell her on Father’s Day, now we have nothing to do on Father’s Day.

Linda: When I die I want you to cremate me and throw my ashes in Tom Selleck’s face.

Louise: And I’m going to get my gun license, finally.

Tina: I’m working on my mating list for when we have to repopulate the world.

Tina: I already picked a corner for the bathroom. That one, where I went.

Louise: Turns out dad has been putting murdered cows in our hamburgers.

Tina: I think I’m getting loot glutes.

Louise: Okay, technical problems from last night have been resolved. Hair dryer plus toaster plus waffle iron equals boiling water.

Tina: Maybe this cow is trying to communicate with us in the only way it knows how – with its feces.

Linda: Hit him in his handsome groin!

Gene: Let’s release the lobster back into the supermarket from whence it came.

Tina: Frowny face? All I’ve been is super nice to you and this is the thanks I get? I loved you, I loved you like a horse, which is my favorite animal. You know what, let’s just stop before we both say something we’ll regret, like that horses are better than cows. I regret that, but it’s true.

Gene: My eyes don’t work, paint me a word picture.