The Devil: I have always advocated family values, all the way back to Cain and Abel.

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Stone: You loved her, didn’t you?
The Devil: I never loved anyone but God, and that was a long time ago.

Desk Clerk: Where have you been?
Stone: Out of the country.
Desk Clerk: Oh, where?
Stone: Down under.

Hirsch: I’m an Old Testament guy. You go your way, and I’ll go Yahweh.

Stone: You a football fan?
Father Horn: I love the Saints…that’s from the Vatican jokebook.

The Devil: If it means anything, I’m sorry. Sort of. Well… no, I’m not.