Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Quotations

Vampire Willow: This world’s no fun.
Willow: You noticed that, too?

Xander: Oooh. Sunnydale Bus Depot. Classy. What a better way to introduce someone to our country than with a stench of urine.

Buffy: You never take me any place new.
Angel: What about that fire demon nest in the cave by the beach? I thought that was a nice change of pace.

Choices

Principal Snyder: There’re some things I can just smell. It’s like a sixth sense.
Giles: No, actually that would be one of the five.

Willow: Okay, so you’re a werewolf. No problem. But hey, three days out of the month, I’m not much fun either.

Forrest: Check her out. Is she hot, or is she hot?
Riley: She’s Buffy.
Forrest: Buffy. I like that. The girl’s so hot, she’s buffy.
Riley: That’s her name, Forrest.

Xander (while Spike packs up his things, including Xander’s radio): That’s my radio!
Spike: And you’re what, shocked and disappointed? I’m evil.

Giles: How did it go?
Faith: Princess Margaret here had a little trouble keeping up.
Giles: How did it go?
Wesley: Faith did quite well on the obstacle field. Still a little sloppy, though.
Giles: Do you feel up to taking Buffy out, or shall I?
Wesley: Oh, no, no, no, I’ll be fine. Just give me a minute. And some defibrillators, if it’s not too much trouble.
Faith: You’re gonna love it, B. It’s just like fun, only boring.

Willow: That’s me as a vampire? I’m so evil, and skanky… and I think I’m kinda gay.

Whistler: Y’know, raiding an Englishman’s fridge is like dating a nun. You’re never going to get the good stuff.

Principal Snyder: You! All of you. Why couldn’t you be dealing drugs like normal people?

Buffy: Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood.
Xander: It actually kinda turns me on.
Buffy: I fear you.

Some Assembly Required

Anya: I like you. You’re funny and you’re nicely shaped, and frankly it’s ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not interlock. Please remove your clothing now.

Riley: There’s definitely something off about her.
Graham: Maybe she’s Canadian.

Buffy: It is a sham, but it’s a sham with yams. It’s a yam sham.
Willow: You’re not gonna jokey-rhyme your way out of this.

Buffy: Were you born this big a pain in the ass?
Spike: What can I tell you, baby? I’ve always been bad.

Xander: You’re considered somewhat cool.
Oz: I am?
Xander: Is it because you always tend to express yourself in short, non-commital sentences?
Oz: Could be.

Cordelia: I know what you’re up to. You think that if you get me mad enough, I won’t be so scared. And hey! It’s working. Where’s a damn weapon?

Giles: Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.

Enemies

Willow: Well, you know, I have a choice. I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world until he notices me, or I can just get on with my life.
Buffy: Good for you.
Willow: Well, I didn’t choose yet.

Buffy: So what I’m wondering is: does this always happen? Sleep with a guy and he goes all evil?

Xander: Well, how about this: we whip out the Ouija board, light a few candles, summon some ancient unstoppable evil? Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem; we show up and and kick its ass.
Giles: A wee bit unethical.

The Initiative

Buffy: Professor Walsh? That simple little recon you sent me on wasn’t a raccoon. Turns out it was me, trapped in the sewers with a faulty weapon and two of your pet demons. If you think that’s enough to kill me, you really don’t know what a Slayer is. Trust me when I say you’re gonna find out.

The I in Team

Buffy: We saved the world, I say we party.

Prophecy Girl

Anya: Men like sports. I’m sure of it.
Xander: Yes. Men like sports. Men watch the action movie, they eat of the beef, and they enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs, and that’s all you’ve learned?