Buffy: Hey! Look at us. We came up with a plan, a good plan.
Vampire: You killed him!
Faith: What are you, the narrator?
Anya: Look, I know you find me attractive; I’ve seen you looking at my breasts.
Xander: Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open.
Principal Snyder: There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed…and also smoking.
Willow: Love makes you do the wacky.
Buffy: What if the girl wants to, and the guy doesn’t? That’s a bad sign, right?
Xander: Could be. Or the girl caught the guy in one of the seven annual minutes he is legitimately too preoccupied to… do it.
Spike: I’m saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn’t chase the other puppies anymore.
Anya: I love a ritual sacrifice.
Buffy: Not really a one of those.
Anya: To commemorate a past event you kill and eat an animal. A ritual sacrifice… with pie.
Willow: I’m a bloodsucking fiend! Look at my outfit!
Cordelia: I know that you share this feeling that we both have for each other, deep down.
Giles (regarding Buffy and Angel’s break-up): I understand this sort of thing requires ice cream of some kind.
Giles: Once again I teeter at the precipice of the generation gap.
Buffy: It is a statistically impossible for a 16-year-old girl to unplug her phone.
Forrest: How are you going to learn anything if you keep doing schoolwork?
Spike (regarding Xander): Oh, leave that one! He looks like he’s ready to drop any minute, and I think I can eat someone if he’s already dead.
Buffy: First thanksgiving on my own, and we all got through it.
Xander: And you know what? I think my syphilis is clearing right up.
Buffy: And they say romance is dead. Or maybe they just wish it.
Vampire Willow: This world’s no fun.
Willow: You noticed that, too?
Xander: Oooh. Sunnydale Bus Depot. Classy. What a better way to introduce someone to our country than with a stench of urine.
Buffy: You never take me any place new.
Angel: What about that fire demon nest in the cave by the beach? I thought that was a nice change of pace.
Principal Snyder: There’re some things I can just smell. It’s like a sixth sense.
Giles: No, actually that would be one of the five.
Willow: Okay, so you’re a werewolf. No problem. But hey, three days out of the month, I’m not much fun either.
Forrest: Check her out. Is she hot, or is she hot?
Riley: She’s Buffy.
Forrest: Buffy. I like that. The girl’s so hot, she’s buffy.
Riley: That’s her name, Forrest.
Xander (while Spike packs up his things, including Xander’s radio): That’s my radio!
Spike: And you’re what, shocked and disappointed? I’m evil.
Giles: How did it go?
Faith: Princess Margaret here had a little trouble keeping up.
Giles: How did it go?
Wesley: Faith did quite well on the obstacle field. Still a little sloppy, though.
Giles: Do you feel up to taking Buffy out, or shall I?
Wesley: Oh, no, no, no, I’ll be fine. Just give me a minute. And some defibrillators, if it’s not too much trouble.
Faith: You’re gonna love it, B. It’s just like fun, only boring.
Willow: That’s me as a vampire? I’m so evil, and skanky… and I think I’m kinda gay.