Buffy: Oh, no…I have to go take an English make-up exam. They give you credit just for speaking it, right?
Xander: My whole life just flashed before my eyes. I gotta get me a life.
Oz: Guys. Take a moment to deal with all this. We survived.
Buffy: It was a hell of a battle.
Oz: Not the battle. High school.
Giles: Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower or a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences long forgotten. Books smell musty and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer is…it has no texture, no context. It’s there and then it’s gone. If it’s to last, then the getting of knowledge should be tangible. It should be, um, smelly.
Druscilla: My mummy used to sing to me to sleep…I wonder what your mummy will sing when they find your body?
Xander: That’s okay, I don’t wanna go. I’m just gonna go home, lie down and listen to country music…the music of pain.
Buffy: I told you. I said ‘End of the World,’ and you were like pooh-pooh, Southern California, pooh-pooh.
Xander: To read makes our speaking english good.
Anya: I swear, I am just trying to find my necklace.
Willow: Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in hell?
Cordelia: How many times have you been knocked out anyway? I swear, one of these times you’re gonna wake up in a coma.
Giles: Wake up in a….. Oh, never mind.
The Mayor (after Giles stabs him): Whoa! Well, now, that was a little thoughtless. Violent outbursts like that in front of the children. You know Mr. Giles, they look to you to see how to behave.
Xander: I have my pride. Okay, I don’t have a lot of my pride, but I have enough so that I can’t do this.
Xander: I am the bug man, kew, kew, katchoo.
Principal Snyder: A lot of educators tell students, ‘Think of your principal as your pal.’ I say think of me as your judge, jury and executioner.
Xander: Think of the happy. If we don’t find what we’re looking for, we’re facing the apocalypse.
Spike (cheering up): Really? You’re not just saying that?
Willow: A gig? How come I didn’t know?
Oz: Didn’t figure you for skipping school.
Willow: You think I’m boring.
Oz: I’d call that a radical interpretation of the text.
Buffy: Do you remember that demon that almost got out the night I died?
Willow: Every nightmare I have that doesn’t revolve around academic failure or public nudity is about that thing. In fact, once I dreamed that it attacked me while I was late for a test and naked.
Principal Snyder: What’s in the bag?
Student: My lunch.
Principal Snyder: Is that the new drug lingo?
Angel: Are you mad at me for being around too much or for not being around enough?
Buffy: Duh, yes!
Principal Snyder: I know Principal Flutie would have said, ‘Kids need understanding. Kids are human beings.’ That’s the kind of wooly-headed liberal thinking that leads to being eaten.
Spike: I like people. They’re like Happy Meals with legs.
Willow: How come you didn’t tell me I look like a crazy birthday cake in this shirt?
Buffy: I thought that was the point.
Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can’t go without your Buffy? Is that it? Too chicken? Let’s find her! She is the Chosen One, after all. Come one, vampires, rrrr, nasty! Let’s annihilate them. For justice, and for… the safety of puppies, and Christmas, right? Let’s fight that evil! Let’s kill something! Oh, come on!
Xander: Will, changing the look not an idle threat with you.
Buffy: Hey! Look at us. We came up with a plan, a good plan.