Anya: I like you. You’re funny and you’re nicely shaped, and frankly it’s ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not interlock. Please remove your clothing now.

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Xander: Well, not much goes on in a one-Starbucks town like Sunnydale.

Cordelia: So does looking at guns make you wanna have sex?
Xander: I’m 17. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex.

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Principal Flutie: We all need help with our feelings. Otherwise, we bottle them up, and before you know it powerful laxatives are involved.

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Giles: I’m not supposed to have a private life?
Buffy: No. Because you’re very, very old and it’s gross.