Buffy: So what I’m wondering is: does this always happen? Sleep with a guy and he goes all evil?

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Vampire: Does this sweater make me look fat?
Sunday: No. The fact that you’re fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look purple.

Xander: For I am Xander, Kind of Cretins, may all lesser Cretins bow before me.

The Witch

Anya: You don’t need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms.
Xander: Okay, remember how we talked about private conversations? How they’re less private when they’re in front of my friends?
Spike: Oh, we’re not your friends; go on.

Spike: Sometimes I like to crumble the Weetabix in the blood. Gives it a little texture.
Giles: Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again, you’ll just have to pick it up yourself.
Spike: Sissy.

Xander: Well, not much goes on in a one-Starbucks town like Sunnydale.