Josh: Halloween isn’t about thrills, chills, and funny costumes; it’s about getting laid.
Edward: Is there any holiday that’s not about getting laid?
Josh: Arbor Day.

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Buffy: Do you remember that demon that almost got out the night I died?
Willow: Every nightmare I have that doesn’t revolve around academic failure or public nudity is about that thing. In fact, once I dreamed that it attacked me while I was late for a test and naked.

Principal Snyder: What’s in the bag?
Student: My lunch.
Principal Snyder: Is that the new drug lingo?

Anya: Look, I know you find me attractive; I’ve seen you looking at my breasts.
Xander: Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open.

Principal Snyder: There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed…and also smoking.

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Willow: Love makes you do the wacky.

Some Assembly Required