Josh: Halloween isn’t about thrills, chills, and funny costumes; it’s about getting laid.
Edward: Is there any holiday that’s not about getting laid?
Josh: Arbor Day.

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Angel: This isn’t some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don’t wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.

Anya: Men like sports. I’m sure of it.
Xander: Yes. Men like sports. Men watch the action movie, they eat of the beef, and they enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs, and that’s all you’ve learned?

Willow: I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles: Willow, I think we’re all a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A bit-cah?

Willow: Buff, I’m storming off. It doesn’t really work if you come with me.

Willow: Okay, your name is Cordelia, you’re not a cat, you’re in high school, and we’re your friends. Well, sort of.
Cordelia: That’s nice, Willow. And you went mental when?