Spike (regarding Xander): Oh, leave that one! He looks like he’s ready to drop any minute, and I think I can eat someone if he’s already dead.
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Xander: Well, how about this: we whip out the Ouija board, light a few candles, summon some ancient unstoppable evil? Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem; we show up and and kick its ass.
Giles: A wee bit unethical.
Willow: Guess she’s out with Riley. You know what it’s like with a spanking new boyfriend.
Anya: Yes, we’ve enjoyed spanking.
Angel: This isn’t some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don’t wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Anya: Men like sports. I’m sure of it.
Xander: Yes. Men like sports. Men watch the action movie, they eat of the beef, and they enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs, and that’s all you’ve learned?
Willow: I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles: Willow, I think we’re all a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A bit-cah?