Giles (regarding Buffy and Angel’s break-up): I understand this sort of thing requires ice cream of some kind.

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Spike: Passions is on! Timmy’s down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it I’ll…
Giles: You’ll do what? Lick me to death?

Buffy: Spike, these are my friends. Besides, it’s kind of my job.
Spike: For now.
Buffy: What, you want me to stop working?
Spike: Let’s see. Do I want you to give up killing my friends? Yeah, I’ve given it some thought.

Xander: We’re right behind you, only further back.

Xander: Aren’t you supposed to be drinking tea, anyway?
Giles: Tea is soothing, I wish to be tense.
Xander: Okay, but you’re destroying a perfectly good cultural stereotype here.

Principal Flutie: We all need help with our feelings. Otherwise, we bottle them up, and before you know it powerful laxatives are involved.

Teacher's Pet