Principal Snyder: There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed…and also smoking.

The Puppet Show

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Xander: I cannot stress enough how much I don’t have plans.

Josh: Halloween isn’t about thrills, chills, and funny costumes; it’s about getting laid.
Edward: Is there any holiday that’s not about getting laid?
Josh: Arbor Day.

Jack: What are you, retarded?
Xander: No. No, I had to take that test when I was seven. A little slow in some stuff, mostly math and spatial relations, but certainly not challenged or anything.

The Zeppo

Faith: Every guy, from Manimal down to Mr. I-Love-The-English-Patient, has beast in him.

Beauty and the Beasts

Xander: Who’s the little fear demon? Come on, who’s the little fear demon?
Giles: Don’t taunt the fear demon.
Xander: Why? Can he hurt me?
Giles: No, it’s just…tacky.