Vampire: Does this sweater make me look fat?
Sunday: No. The fact that you’re fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look purple.

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Mayor Wilkins: I have two words that are going to make all your troubles go away. “Miniature.” “Golf.”

Enemies

Willow (looking at Xander’s fake ID): I don’t believe this is entirely on the up and up.
Xander: What gives it away?
Willow: Looking at it.

Willow: Buff, I’m storming off. It doesn’t really work if you come with me.

Willow: Okay, your name is Cordelia, you’re not a cat, you’re in high school, and we’re your friends. Well, sort of.
Cordelia: That’s nice, Willow. And you went mental when?

Buffy: I was just thinking about the life of a pumpkin. Grow up in the sun, happily entwined with others, and then someone comes along, cuts you open, and rips your guts out.

Fear, Itself