Vampire: Does this sweater make me look fat?
Sunday: No. The fact that you’re fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look purple.

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Xander: That’s okay, I don’t wanna go. I’m just gonna go home, lie down and listen to country music…the music of pain.

Buffy: I told you. I said ‘End of the World,’ and you were like pooh-pooh, Southern California, pooh-pooh.

Xander: To read makes our speaking english good.

I Robot, You Jane

Buffy: Oh, no…I have to go take an English make-up exam. They give you credit just for speaking it, right?

Xander: My whole life just flashed before my eyes. I gotta get me a life.

Killed By Death