Vampire: Does this sweater make me look fat?
Sunday: No. The fact that you’re fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look purple.

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Riley: You don’t understand, I’m good at things. That’s what I do. I work hard, apply myself, get it done.
Willow: Well, you failed extremely well.

Xander: Just think of my lips as the Fruit Roll-Ups of Love…okay, that was gross.

Something Blue

Buffy: I spend all my time in the dark here anyway, it’s not like I’d be at a game you know, with my friends where someone could see me in my new monster part.
Angel: Hey…I won’t let anything happen to you if I can help it, and no matter what I’ll love you even if you’re covered with slime.
Buffy: I liked everything until that part.

Xander: I cannot stress enough how much I don’t have plans.

Josh: Halloween isn’t about thrills, chills, and funny costumes; it’s about getting laid.
Edward: Is there any holiday that’s not about getting laid?
Josh: Arbor Day.