Vampire: Does this sweater make me look fat?
Sunday: No. The fact that you’re fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look purple.

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More from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Xander: I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.

The Witch

Giles: I’m not supposed to have a private life?
Buffy: No. Because you’re very, very old and it’s gross.

Xander: For I am Xander, Kind of Cretins, may all lesser Cretins bow before me.

The Witch

Anya: You don’t need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms.
Xander: Okay, remember how we talked about private conversations? How they’re less private when they’re in front of my friends?
Spike: Oh, we’re not your friends; go on.

Spike: Sometimes I like to crumble the Weetabix in the blood. Gives it a little texture.
Giles: Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again, you’ll just have to pick it up yourself.
Spike: Sissy.