Rebecca: You know, I really think I can put together a great Thanksgiving dinner. This’ll be the second one that I’ve cooked, and believe me, the first one was not the disaster that my family said it was. Those kids had a pretty good time in that ambulance.

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Norm: Women. You can’t live with ’em. Pass the beernuts.

Cliff: What a pathetic display. I’m ashamed God made me a man.
Carla: I don’t think God’s doing a lot of bragging either.

Carla: What are you all sitting around here like a bunch of wimps for?
Norm: It’s what wimps do.

Cliff: Did I ever tell you kids about the first Thanksgiving? It took place between the ancient Egyptains and aliens from a distant galaxy.

Woody Boyd: Oh, oh, Miss Howe. Wait. I’m recycling glass bottles. I want this world to be clean for our children. I mean, my children… or your children… or our children. But seeing as how you got a date with someone else tonight, it seems like a long shot.
Rebecca Howe: Woody, you’re so good and I’m so bad. I feel guilty and ashamed. I feel like killing myself.
Woody Boyd: (hands her a business card) I also volunteer for a suicide hotline. We do good things.