Desperate Housewives

Quotations

Mr. Shaw: Sometimes evil drives a minivan.

Mary Alice: An odd thing happens when we die, our senses vanish. Taste, touch, smell and sound become a distant memory, but our sight? Ah, our sight expands and we can suddenly see the world we left behind so clearly. Of course most of what’s visible to the dead could also be seen by the living, if they would only take the time to look.

Susan: Do you believe in evil, Edie?
Edie: Of course I believe in evil – I work in real estate.

John Rowland: What other option do you have? Except return the shoes and get your money back.
Gabrielle: Return the shoes? I can’t talk to you when you’re hysterical.

Mary Alice: Human beings are designed for many things. Loneliness isn’t one of them.

Bree: Oh, my heavenly days!

Gabrielle: You’re a strong guy. You went to college on an athletic scholarship, for God’s sake!
Carlos: Yeah, it was for golf!
Gabrielle: Oh.

Sister Mary: Money can’t buy happiness.
Gabrielle: Sure it can! That’s just a lie we tell poor people to keep them from rioting.

Bree: Gabby, this is the way I see it, good friends offer to help in a crisis, great friends don’t take no for an answer.

Lynette: Hi. My baby-sitter cancelled.
Bree: I’ve got millions of errands to run so…
Lynette: Please hear me out, this is important. Today I have a chance to join the human race for a few hours – there are actual adults waiting for me with margaritas. Look I’m in a dress, I have make-up on.
Bree: If it were any other day?
Lynette: Oh, for Gods sake, Bree, I’m wearing pantyhose.

Mary Alice: Trust is a fragile thing. Once earned, it affords us tremendous freedom. But once trust is lost, it can be impossible to recover. Of course the truth is, we never know who we can trust. Those we’re closest to can betray us, and total strangers can come to our rescue. In the end, most people decide to trust only themselves. It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned.

Tom: I love you because you did the right thing, and I admire your bravery.
Lynette: And I love you because you find ways to compliment me when you could just say, “I told you so.”

Bree: Maybe they’ll just be happy for you.
Gabrielle: Bree, my friends are models, they’re not happy for anyone.

Karl: The heart wants what it wants!
Susan: Yeah, well, my heart wants to hurt you, but I’m able to control myself!

Bree: How could we have all forgotten about this?
Lynette: We didn’t exactly forget. It’s just usually when the hostess dies, the party is off.

Yao Lin: I don’t like lies.
Gabrielle: Yeah, well I don’t like your ironing. So there.

Mary Alice: Yes, each new day in suburbia brings with it a new set of lies. The worst are the ones we tell ourselves right before we fall asleep. We whisper them in the dark, telling ourselves we’re happy, or that he’s happy. That we can change, or that he will change his mind. We persuade ourselves that we can live with our sins, or that we can live without him. Yes, each night before we fall asleep we lie to ourselves in a desperate, desperate hope that come morning – it will all be true.

Mary Alice: It’s a rare man that understands the value of a perfect rose.