Ari Gold: You know what they feed people on an indi set, Vinne? Nothing! They don’t give you a trailer. They tell you to go sit on an apple box. Ever try to bang an extra on an apple box?
Eric: Well, if anybody could do it, Vince could.
Vince: I do have great balance.
Ari Gold: We are gonna get drunk with Russell Crowe and we’re gonna head-butt some goddamn kangaroos.
Turtle: This is where you should be living, Vince. In a kingdom, like a prince.
Eric: Don’t you mean in a kingdom like a king, you idiot?
Vince: Nah, E. Everyone wants to kill the king. But the prince, he just sails along telling all the ladies, “One day I’m gonna be king.”
Eric: We had breakup-sex, all right?
Johnny Drama: Breakup-sex? Never heard of it.
Eric: Yeah, I mean… you know… you have sex and… that’s it – you say goodbye.
Johnny Drama: That’s the only kinda sex I have.
Johnny Drama: North of Ventura Boulevard is hell’s waiting room.
Ari: You all have one job today. It’s to get Johnny Chase, Vincent Chases’ brother, a job. I don’t care if it’s a porn shoot where he is being gang raped by a gaggle of silverback gorillas.