Father Dougal: Our Father, who art in heaven…
Father Ted: Hallowed.
Father Dougal: Hallowed be thy..
Father Ted: Name.
Father Dougal: Papa don’t preach…

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More from Father Ted

Father Ted: Down with this sort of thing!
Dougal: Careful now!

The Passion of St Tibulus

Father Ted: Dougal, how did you get into the church? Was it like, “Collect twelve crisp packets and become a priest”?

Grant unto Him Eternal Rest

Father Ted is demonstrating some plastic toy cows to Dougal.
Father Ted: …OK, one last time. These are small… but the ones out there are far away. Small… far away…

Hell

Father Dougal: God Ted, I’ve heard about those cults. Everyone dressing in black and saying our Lord’s going to come back and judge us all.
Father Ted: No…no Dougal, that’s us. That’s Catholicism you’re talking about there.

Bishop Brennan: You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks!

The Plague