Inara: So. Would you like to lecture me the wickedness of my ways?
Book: I brought you some supper, but if you’d prefer a lecture, I’ve a few very catchy ones prepped. Sin and hellfire… one has lepers.
Mal: This is why we lost, you know. Superior numbers.
Zoe: Thanks for the re-enactment, sir.
Harken: You fought with Captain Reynolds in the war?
Zoe: Fought with a lot of people in the war.
Harken: And your husband?
Zoe: Fight with him sometimes, too.
River: They weren’t cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see sky, and they remember what they are.
Mal: Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?
Bandit: You gonna give us what’s due us. And every damn thing else on that boat. And I think maybe you gonna give me a little one-on-one time with the missus.
Jayne: Oh, I think you might wanna reconsider that last part. See, I married me a powerful ugly creature.
Mal: How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?
Jayne: If I could make you prettier I would!
Mal: You are not the man I met a year ago!
Mal: There ain’t-a one of us looks the part more than the good doctor. I mean, the pretty fits, soft hands, definitely a moneyed individual. All rich and lily-white, pasty all over—
Simon: All right! Fine, I’ll go. Just… stop describing me.
Zoe: Get her running again?
Zoe: So not running now?
Mal: Not so much.
Mal: But she will.
Mal: Just once, I’d like things to go according to the gorram plan!
Mal: We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty.
Simon: Can you move your feet? Kaylee. Stay with me. Can you move your feet?
Kaylee: Are you asking me to dance?
Lund: I’m thinking somebody needs to put you down, dog. What do you think ?
Mal: I’m thinking we’ll rise again.
Harken: Seems odd you’d name your ship after a battle you were on the wrong side of.
Mal: May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.
Simon: I’m very sorry if she tipped off anyone about your cunningly concealed herd of cows.
Wash: You brute.
Kaylee: Oh, sweetie, don’t feel bad. He makes everybody cry. He’s like a monster.
Mal: I’m not a monster!
Wash: What happened to Simon? Who is this diabolical master of disguise?
Wash: Monastic humor. I miss out on all the fun.
Mal: The next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.
Mal: We’re not gonna die. We can’t die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so very pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die.
Simon: What about us?
Mal: Kaylee comes through, you and your sister get off at Whitefall.
Simon: If she doesn’t come through?
Mal: Well, then you’re gettin’ off a mite sooner.
Simon: Need a weave on that?
Mal: It’s nothin’.
Simon: I expect there’s someone’s face feels differently.
Mal: I know they tell ya, you never hit a man with a closed fist, but it is, on occasion, hilarious.
Mal: That poor bastard you took off my ship. He looked right into the face of it. Was made to stare.
Mal: The darkness. Kind of darkness you can’t even imagine. Blacker than the space it moves through.
Harken: Very poetic.
Mal: They made him watch. He probably tried to turn away, and they wouldn’t let him. You call him a survivor? He’s not. A man comes up against that kind of will, the only way to deal with it, I suspect, is to become it.
Inara: Does it seem every supply store on every water planet has the same five rag dolls and the same wood carvings of – what is this? A duck?
Mal: Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill ’em right back!
Mal: You wanna tell me how come there’s a statue here, lookin’ at me like I owe him something?
Jayne: Wishin’ I could, cap’n.
Mal: No, seriously, Jayne, you want to tell me–?
Jayne: Look, Mal, I got no ruttin’ idea. I was here a few years back, like I said. Pulled a second-story, stole a lot of scratch from the magistrate up on the hill. But things went way south. I had to hightail it. They don’t… put you on a pedestal in town square for that.
Mal: Yeah, but I’m looking at some fair compelling evidence says they do.
Simon: This must be what going mad feels like.
Kaylee: Well, Shepherd told us a funny story about bein’ a preacher, now you tell us a funny story about bein’ a doctor.
Simon: Ah, a funny story.
Jayne: Yeah, ’cause sick people are hi-larious.