Inara: I’d have to say, this is the first time we’ve had a preacher on board.
Book: Well, I wasn’t expecting to see a state official either. Ambassador…I’m missing something funny.
Kaylee: Not so funny.
Inara: Ambassador is Mal’s way of—
Mal: She’s a whore, Shep.

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River: We’re lost. Lost in the woods.

Mal: I would appreciate it if one person on this boat would not assume I’m an evil, lecherous hump.
Zoe: No one’s saying that, sir.
Wash: Yeah, we’re pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly.

River: Bible’s broken. Contradictions, false logistics… doesn’t make sense.
Book: No, no. You can’t…
River: So we’ll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God’s creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah’s ark is a problem.
Book: Really?
River: We’ll have to call it “early quantum state phenomenon”. Only way to fit 5,000 species of mammals on the same boat.

Jaynestown

Simon: Suffocation’s not exactly the most dignified way to go. The human body will involuntarily-
Inara: Please, I don’t really require a clinical description right now.
Simon: I’m sorry. I just, uh… It was my birthday.

Out of Gas

Book: Yes, I’d forgotten you’re moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. Got your next heist planned?
Simon: No. But, I’m thinking about growing a big black mustache. I’m a traditionalist.