Mal: Now you only gotta scare him.
Jayne: Pain is scary.

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Wash: Can we maybe vote on the whole “murdering people” issue?

Pilot

Mal: Ah, he’s not the first psycho to hire us, nor the last. You think that’s a commentary on us?

Badger: You think you’re better than other people!
Mal: Just the ones I’m better than.

River: We’re lost. Lost in the woods.

Mal: I would appreciate it if one person on this boat would not assume I’m an evil, lecherous hump.
Zoe: No one’s saying that, sir.
Wash: Yeah, we’re pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly.