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Sir Warrick: I know him. And I think he’s a psychotic low-life.
Mal: And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic low-life community.
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Mal: Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character, so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.
Sheriff: It’s funny your uncle never went to mentioning the Bowden’s problem. Or that Joey Bloggs ate his own gun, about eight months back.
Mal: Did he?
Sheriff: Yep. Blew the back of his head right off.
Mal: So… would his job be open?
Sir Warrick: You didn’t have to wound that man.
Mal: Yeah, I know. It was just funny.
Gabriel Tam: Have you completely lost your mind?
Simon: Pretty nearly.
Gabriel Tam: We got the wave at the Friedlichs. I had to leave your mother at the dinner table!
Simon: I’m sorry, Dad. You know I would never have tried to save River’s life if I had known there was a dinner party at risk!
Wash: I wish I was somebody else right now, somebody not… married, not madly in love with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinky.
Our Mrs. Reynolds