Firefly

If you take sexual advantage of her, you’re going to burn in a very special level of Hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.

Book

I’ve been out of the abbey two days, I’ve beaten a lawman senseless, I’ve fallen in with criminals. I watched the captain shoot the man I swore to protect. And I’m not even sure if I think he was wrong.

Book

Does it seem every supply store on every water planet has the same five rag dolls and the same wood carvings of – what is this? A duck?

Inara

All of you! You think there’s someone just gonna drop money on ya?! Money they could use?! Well, there ain’t people like that. There’s just people like me.

Jayne

“Dear Diary: Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today we were kidnapped by hill folk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever.”

Jayne

Far as I see it, you people been given the shortest end of the stick ever been offered a human soul in this crap-hill 'verse. But you took that end, and you... Well, you took it. And that's - Well, I guess that's somethin'.

Jayne

Instead of us hanging around playing art critic till I get pinched by the Man, how’s about we move away from this eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our increasingly eerie-ass day, how’s that?

Jayne

(singing) "The hero of Canton, the man they call 'me'."

Jayne

Smellin’ a lot of “if” comin’ off this plan.

Jayne

This place gives me an uncomfortableness.

Jayne

You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I go get and beat you with ’til you understand who’s in ruttin’ command here.

Jayne

No power in the ‘verse can stop me.

Kaylee

Ah, he’s not the first psycho to hire us, nor the last. You think that’s a commentary on us?

Mal

Been a long time since Patience shot me, and that was due to a perfectly legitimate conflict of interest. I got no grudge.

Mal

Don’t worry, I’m not gonna start any sword fights. I’m over that phase.

Mal

Everybody dies, Tracey. Someone’s carryin’ a bullet for you right now, doesn’t even know it. The trick is, die of old age before it finds you.

Mal

Everybody dies, Tracey. Someone's carryin' a bullet for you right now, doesn't even know it. The trick is, die of old age before it finds you. The Message

Mal

It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of sumbitch or another. Ain't about you, Jayne. It's about what they need.

Mal

Just once, I’d like things to go according to the gorram plan!

Mal

Let’s go get our wayward babes.

Mal

Look, you got a little stabbed the other day. That’s bound to make anyone a mite ornery.

Mal

Mercy is the mark of a great man. (He lightly stabs Atherton) Guess I’m just a good man. (He stabs him again) Well, I’m all right.

Mal

My work’s illegal, but at least it’s honest.

Mal

Reavers ain’t men – or they forgot how to be.

Mal

Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill ’em right back!

Mal

The next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.

Mal

We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty.

Mal

Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.

Mal

We’re not gonna die. We can’t die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so very pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die.

Mal

We’re not thieves. Well, we are thieves. Point is, we’re not takin’ what’s his. Now, we’ll stay out of his way as best we can from here on in. You explain that that’s best for everyone, okay?

Mal

You know, I do believe that woman is planning to shoot me again.

Mal

He looks better in red.

River

They say the snow on the roof is too heavy. They say the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger.

River

We’re lost. Lost in the woods.

River

You’re afraid we’re going to run out of air. That we’ll die gasping. But we won’t. That’s not going to happen. We’ll freeze to death first.

River

Tell you what. You buy this ship – treat her proper – she’ll be with you for the rest of your life.

Salesman

I’m very sorry if she tipped off anyone about your cunningly concealed herd of cows.

Simon

It’s been a big day, what with the abduction, and all.

Simon

Yes. Yes. This is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it …’This Land’.

Wash (as Stegosaurus)

Can we maybe vote on the whole “murdering people” issue?

Wash

Every planet has its own weird customs. About a year before we met, I spent six weeks on a moon where the principal form of recreation was juggling geese. My hand to God. Baby geese. Goslings. They were juggled.

Wash

I wish I was somebody else right now, somebody not… married, not madly in love with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinky.

Wash

Monastic humor. I miss out on all the fun.

Wash

We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm the hero!

Wash

What happened to Simon? Who is this diabolical master of disguise?

Wash

Remember that sex we were planning to have, ever again?

Zoe