Simon: So, finally a decent wound on this ship, and I miss out. I’m sorry.
Mal: Well, you were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. It happens.

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River: They weren’t cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see sky, and they remember what they are.
Mal: Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?

Wash: You brute.
Kaylee: Oh, sweetie, don’t feel bad. He makes everybody cry. He’s like a monster.
Mal: I’m not a monster!

Wash: What happened to Simon? Who is this diabolical master of disguise?

Wash: Monastic humor. I miss out on all the fun.

Mal: The next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.