Bandit: You gonna give us what’s due us. And every damn thing else on that boat. And I think maybe you gonna give me a little one-on-one time with the missus.
Jayne: Oh, I think you might wanna reconsider that last part. See, I married me a powerful ugly creature.
Mal: How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?
Jayne: If I could make you prettier I would!
Mal: You are not the man I met a year ago!

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Mal: Saffron, you even think about playing me again I will riddle you with holes.
Saffron: Everybody plays each other. That’s all anybody ever does. We play parts.

Mal: Ship like this, be with you till the day you die.
Zoe: That’s ’cause it’s a death trap.

Out of Gas

Jayne: Hell, I don’t know. If I wanted schooling, I’d-a gone to school.

Inara: I’d have to say, this is the first time we’ve had a preacher on board.
Book: Well, I wasn’t expecting to see a state official either. Ambassador…I’m missing something funny.
Kaylee: Not so funny.
Inara: Ambassador is Mal’s way of—
Mal: She’s a whore, Shep.

Jayne: Your move.
Zoe: That’s a bold move.
Mal: I live on the edge.