Mal: I would appreciate it if one person on this boat would not assume I’m an evil, lecherous hump.
Zoe: No one’s saying that, sir.
Wash: Yeah, we’re pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly.

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Mal: Been a long time since Patience shot me, and that was due to a perfectly legitimate conflict of interest. I got no grudge.

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Mal: How come you didn’t turn on me, Jayne?
Jayne: Money wasn’t good enough.
Mal: What happens when it is?
Jayne: Well, that’ll be an interesting day.

Wash: Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?
Simon: I told him to sit down.

Inara: Are you in pain?
Mal: Absolutely. I got stabbed, you know, right here.

Mal: They let us come, and they let us go. What kind of ident card gets us that kind of reception and send-off?
Book: I am a Shepherd. Folks like a man of God.
Mal: No, they don’t. Men of God make everyone feel guilty and judged.