Wash: What happened to Simon? Who is this diabolical master of disguise?

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Mal: So, that’s where the little “Jayne Day Celebration” we got planned comes in. Should give us enough time to get the goods back onto Serenity.
Jayne: I don’t know. You think we should be using my fame to hoodwink folks?
Mal: You better laugh when you say that.
Jayne: No really, Mal, I mean, maybe there’s something to this. The Mudders? I think I really made a difference in their lives. You know — me, Jayne Cobb.
Mal: I know your name, jackass!

Captain: You woulda done the same.
Mal: We can already see I haven’t.

Jayne: Smellin’ a lot of “if” comin’ off this plan.

Badger: Crime and politics, little girl. Situation is always fluid.
Jayne: The only fluid I see here is the puddle of piss refusing to pay us our wage.

Pilot

Mal: Well, you were right about this being a bad idea.
Zoe: Thanks for saying, sir.

Serenity