Zoe: Get her running again?
Mal: Yeah.
Zoe: So not running now?
Mal: Not so much.
Zoe: Ah.
Mal: But she will.

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Simon: I’m very sorry if she tipped off anyone about your cunningly concealed herd of cows.

Wash: You brute.
Kaylee: Oh, sweetie, don’t feel bad. He makes everybody cry. He’s like a monster.
Mal: I’m not a monster!

Wash: What happened to Simon? Who is this diabolical master of disguise?

Kaylee: Well, Shepherd told us a funny story about bein’ a preacher, now you tell us a funny story about bein’ a doctor.
Simon: Ah, a funny story.
Jayne: Yeah, ’cause sick people are hi-larious.

Book: He said, “Live with a man forty years. Share his house, his meals, speak on every subject, then tie him up, and hold him over the volcano’s edge, and on that day, you will finally meet the man.”
Simon: What if you don’t live by a volcano?
Book: I suspect he was being poetical.