Kaylee: Well, Shepherd told us a funny story about bein’ a preacher, now you tell us a funny story about bein’ a doctor.
Simon: Ah, a funny story.
Jayne: Yeah, ’cause sick people are hi-larious.

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River: I get confused. I remember everything. I remember too much. And… some of it’s made up, and… some of it can’t be quantified, and… there’s secrets, and …
Simon: It’s okay.
River: But I understand. You gave up everything you had to find me. You found me broken. It’s hard for you. You gave up everything you had.
Simon: Mei-mei. Everything I have is right here.

Saffron: Leave me at the nearest port. Never look upon me again. I’ll make my way with the strength that you’ve taught me. Only let me have my wedding night.
Mal: Oh, I’m gonna go to the special hell.

Mal: So, that’s where the little “Jayne Day Celebration” we got planned comes in. Should give us enough time to get the goods back onto Serenity.
Jayne: I don’t know. You think we should be using my fame to hoodwink folks?
Mal: You better laugh when you say that.
Jayne: No really, Mal, I mean, maybe there’s something to this. The Mudders? I think I really made a difference in their lives. You know — me, Jayne Cobb.
Mal: I know your name, jackass!

Salesman: Tell you what. You buy this ship – treat her proper – she’ll be with you for the rest of your life.

Mal: I hear y’all took up arms in that little piece o’ action back there. How’re you faring with that, Doctor?
Simon: I don’t know. I, I never, never shot anyone before.
Book: I was there, son. I’m fair sure you haven’t shot anyone yet.