Jayne: Hell, I don’t know. If I wanted schooling, I’d-a gone to school.

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Wash: Every planet has its own weird customs. About a year before we met, I spent six weeks on a moon where the principal form of recreation was juggling geese. My hand to God. Baby geese. Goslings. They were juggled.

Wash: We gotta go to the crappy town where I’m the hero!

Mal: I’m gettin’ a little weary of this attitude, Wash.
Wash: Are you? Well, I’m so very sorry, sir. I guess the news that we’re all gonna be purple and bloated and fetal in a few hours has made me little snippy.

Wash: I can’t stand the thought of something happening that might cause you two to come back with another thrilling tale of bonding and adventure. I just can’t take that right now.
Mal: Okay. I’m lost. I’m angry. And, I’m armed.

Wash: I’d say worth a little risk.
Jayne: Yeah, that was some pretty risky sittin’ you did there.
Wash: That’s right, of course, ’cause they wouldn’t arrest me if we got boarded, I’m just the pilot. I can always say I was flying the ship by accident.