Mal: The next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.

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Book: If you take sexual advantage of her, you’re going to burn in a very special level of Hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.

Jayne: Instead of us hanging around playing art critic till I get pinched by the Man, how’s about we move away from this eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our increasingly eerie-ass day, how’s that?

Kaylee: Catalyzer on the port compression coil blew. It’s where the trouble started.
Mal: Okay, I need that in captain dummy-talk, Kaylee.
Kaylee: We’re dead in the water.

Book: Yes, I’d forgotten you’re moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. Got your next heist planned?
Simon: No. But, I’m thinking about growing a big black mustache. I’m a traditionalist.

Kaylee: Well, we’re headed for help… right?
Zoe: Captain will come up with a plan.
Kaylee: That’s good. Right?
Zoe: Possibly you’re not recalling some of his previous plans.