Mal: Saffron, you even think about playing me again I will riddle you with holes.
Saffron: Everybody plays each other. That’s all anybody ever does. We play parts.
Mal: Ship like this, be with you till the day you die.
Zoe: That’s ’cause it’s a death trap.
Jayne: Hell, I don’t know. If I wanted schooling, I’d-a gone to school.
Kaylee: So how many fell madly in love with you and wanted to take you away from all this?
Inara: Just the one. I think I’m slipping.
Lund: You didn’t toast? Y’know, I’m thinkin’ you one of them independents.
Mal: And I’m thinkin’ you weren’t burdened with an overabundance of schooling. So why don’t we just ignore each other, til we go away?
Mal: Reavers ain’t men – or they forgot how to be.
Jayne: About time you broke in them fancy shoes. Hyah! Get along!
Mal: You know, they walk just as easy if you lead ’em.
Jayne: I like smackin’ ’em.
Simon: So, finally a decent wound on this ship, and I miss out. I’m sorry.
Mal: Well, you were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. It happens.
Saffron: You gonna kill me?
Mal: Can you conjure up a terribly compelling reason for me not to?
Saffron: I didn’t kill you.
Mal: You handed me and my crew over to those that would kill us. That buys you nothing.
Saffron: I made you dinner.
Mal: And try to see past what she is, and on to what she can be.
Zoe: What’s that, sir?
Mal: Freedom, is what.
Zoe: I meant, what’s that?
Mal: Oh. Yeah, just step around that. I think something must’ve been living in here.
Mal: Look, you got a little stabbed the other day. That’s bound to make anyone a mite ornery.
Inara: So. Would you like to lecture me the wickedness of my ways?
Book: I brought you some supper, but if you’d prefer a lecture, I’ve a few very catchy ones prepped. Sin and hellfire… one has lepers.
Mal: This is why we lost, you know. Superior numbers.
Zoe: Thanks for the re-enactment, sir.
Harken: You fought with Captain Reynolds in the war?
Zoe: Fought with a lot of people in the war.
Harken: And your husband?
Zoe: Fight with him sometimes, too.
River: They weren’t cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see sky, and they remember what they are.
Mal: Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?
Bandit: You gonna give us what’s due us. And every damn thing else on that boat. And I think maybe you gonna give me a little one-on-one time with the missus.
Jayne: Oh, I think you might wanna reconsider that last part. See, I married me a powerful ugly creature.
Mal: How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?
Jayne: If I could make you prettier I would!
Mal: You are not the man I met a year ago!
Mal: There ain’t-a one of us looks the part more than the good doctor. I mean, the pretty fits, soft hands, definitely a moneyed individual. All rich and lily-white, pasty all over—
Simon: All right! Fine, I’ll go. Just… stop describing me.
Zoe: Get her running again?
Zoe: So not running now?
Mal: Not so much.
Mal: But she will.
Mal: Just once, I’d like things to go according to the gorram plan!
Mal: We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty.
Simon: Can you move your feet? Kaylee. Stay with me. Can you move your feet?
Kaylee: Are you asking me to dance?
Lund: I’m thinking somebody needs to put you down, dog. What do you think ?
Mal: I’m thinking we’ll rise again.
Harken: Seems odd you’d name your ship after a battle you were on the wrong side of.
Mal: May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.
Simon: I’m very sorry if she tipped off anyone about your cunningly concealed herd of cows.
Wash: You brute.
Kaylee: Oh, sweetie, don’t feel bad. He makes everybody cry. He’s like a monster.
Mal: I’m not a monster!